Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Wanted: Monty Molar
Yesterday I broke a tooth. It's a terrible habit I picked up a few years ago and thought I'd managed to get over it. However it would now appear that I haven't and one of the molars on the right-hand side of my dainty gob has decided to fall apart (on the inside of my mouth, leaving a right ol' sharp piece of tooth to rub against my tongue. Oh the bliss.)
For those who are unaware of such things, here are some facts about
Teeth
* Human teeth can withstand up to 90 g-force shock before shattering. Sometimes more. Often less.
* The tooth fairy is actually a gay with really goofy gnashers who I was at school with.
* Teeth were originally made from wood, however the calcium-based fellows we have these days came along after a splinter group was formed.
* To prove how futuristic they are, pop combo The Futureheads have had all their teeth removed and replaced by a computerised chewing engine which they take on tour with them and ingest its pre-masticated pulp. The combined time saving for the group is nearly a fortnight over the year.
* Sugar is not good for teeth. Too much of it and they end up diabetic and require regular insulin injections.
* Although popular myth states that they are, dentists are not actually evil. Except yours.
For those who are unaware of such things, here are some facts about
Teeth
* Human teeth can withstand up to 90 g-force shock before shattering. Sometimes more. Often less.
* The tooth fairy is actually a gay with really goofy gnashers who I was at school with.
* Teeth were originally made from wood, however the calcium-based fellows we have these days came along after a splinter group was formed.
* To prove how futuristic they are, pop combo The Futureheads have had all their teeth removed and replaced by a computerised chewing engine which they take on tour with them and ingest its pre-masticated pulp. The combined time saving for the group is nearly a fortnight over the year.
* Sugar is not good for teeth. Too much of it and they end up diabetic and require regular insulin injections.
* Although popular myth states that they are, dentists are not actually evil. Except yours.
